Month: October 2012

Our Early Intervention program has become our new life but it actually has multiple meanings for me.  The program can be taken literally- we have services intervening early in her life to work with her on her hearing and speech.  It has also been an intervention for me as well.  Through NY Presbyterian we were introduced to The Clarke School- an early intervention program and preschool for children who are deaf and hard of hearing. My intervention was for my sanity and emotional state. Granted, I’ve cried again like 4x today but honestly I do feel better. 

My emotional early intervention began when I met our services coordinator. She is the most soothing, loving, nurturing person I have ever met.  After 10 minutes with her I realized that she is in our lives for a reason.  She joined the Clarke team b/c her daughter has sensory neural hearing loss and attended the school.  So instantly I had a friend in this journey that had experienced something like I was. She had stayed up nights struggling to come to grips with the fears and challenges her daughter faced. She struggled with breastfeeding and waiting rooms, and tests and doctors.  She gets me.  Being introduced to the rest of the team and being in that space gave me peace.  The speech therapists, the receptionist, the group leaders, the director – all of them are kind, loving, understanding, problem solvers.  In just a short week I feel like I have a clear path for her hearing and speech. I have a team of advocates for Landon now.  A team of cheerleaders who were so happy to meet her and knew all about her before we’d even met.  I love these people. 

For our little girl, Early Intervention means speech therapy twice a week and parent/child therapy once a week.  It’s a lot of work for a teeny little baby but I’m learning how to interact with her, songs to sing, sounds to make, toys to buy. Being there makes me feel whole.  So I will go as many times as they will have me.

Her hearing aid is also ordered and expedited – which is simply incredible as it was going to take a long time but Clarke just makes shit happen. They have special powers I’m convinced.  This morning we did our first therapy session and parent/child group session.  I met other mothers who have faced similar struggles and babies with their little baha hearing aids and softbands.  Precious little one year olds who are making sounds and talking some and loving life completely.  The room gave me hope and strength. It gave me resolve.  On 3.5 hours of sleep, I didn’t feel tired while I was in there. 

I’d never heard of early intervention, but somehow and some day I will give back to other mothers via early intervention.  It’s changed everything.  I am so grateful.

xoxo

eloise

Clarke was literally founded in 1867.  How fascinating is that? 

In 6 long weeks, as we’ve begun our journey with Landon and her TCS, I have been touched and moved to tears by the outpouring of love, prayer and support from our friends and family. It’s been the most moving and inspirational outpouring I could have ever imagined.  Thank you.  Thank you for the time you have all spent emailing me and sharing your own stories of adversity, stories of hearing loss in your families or simply to say hello after many years.  I want to write everyone back but it’s taking me some time b/c we’ve received about 200 messages. We’re on the prayer list at about 5 churches, and we are still getting amazing gifts in the mail from folks we’ve never even met.

What has been so special is that the emails and hand written letters have come from every facet of my 32 years.  People from my days of childhood, to middle and high school to college, New York years to people I haven’t actually met yet.  I’m driven to tears (in a good way) each time I read your notes. One amazing friend from college, who I haven’t seen in 10 years, sent me an enormous box of baby clothes that her girls had outgrown.  I literally cried more and more as I pulled out the beautiful pieces as I was so moved by her kindness.  I have always felt blessed to have good friends and support in my life, but now it’s taken on a new chapter. It’s reunited me with friends that I’d lost touch with but now it seems no time has passed. Even when folks don’t know what to say… just saying that and that you’re thinking of us is amazing.  Thank you.  I feel incredibly lucky to have met and known such special people over the course of my life. 

I really do not want to sound preachy but it’s also reunited me with my faith.  Bo and I met at youth group as kids, but that’s not to say we have been the best all our lives at getting to church or thanking God enough for our blessings along the way. Turning to faith is a natural thing when the going gets tough.  For me it was a breakthrough when I was still in the hospital and I hadn’t gotten to see Landon but one time in a drug-induced haze. It had been two whole days and I hadn’t been able to see my baby girl b/c I was stuck in bed and she was down in the NICU. A chaplain checks in on the mothers regularly in my section of recovery b/c our “wing” is where all the NICU moms recover.  This lovely woman came in and I instantly sat up and asked everyone visiting to leave Bo and I with her.  She sat with us and asked us questions like “what did our faith mean to us” and “what did we want to pray for”.  Instantly an outpouring of emotion filled the room. We cried as we answered her that we wanted answers, to hold her, to love her and find peace and for God to give us strength.  This one 30 minute meeting with this stranger was all I needed to within a few hours, get up, walk for the first time on my own and make it downstairs to see Landon to feed her for the first time.  I have no doubt that God was with us in that room.  I’ve never felt his presence so profoundly before.

So this is little old me giving thanks to all of you near and far for your love and compassion as we make our way in this confusing journey. Yeah.. it’s on the internet but it really is heartfelt :).

We love you,

xoxo,

Eloise

Do not look forward to what may happen
tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares
for you today will take care of you tomorrow and
every day. Either He will shield you from suffering,
or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace, then. Put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations, and say continually: “The Lord is my
strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him
and I am helped. He is not only with me but in me,
and I in Him.”